There’s something odd about the sentence “I’m your mentor.”
It sounds a bit like a singer saying, “I’m your idol.”
It just doesn’t work.
For Gen Z - and for many young professionals today - that’s probably one of the most cringe-worthy things you can say. They do want guidance, they are curious, ambitious and eager to learn. But they also want to decide who they learn from and how that learning happens.
And that’s where the tension lies.
The moment someone declares themselves a “mentor” before the other person has ever felt it that way, a line is crossed.
Because what you’re really saying is:
“I know better than you.”
“I’ll teach you how it’s done.”
And that’s exactly what Gen Z won’t accept.
There’s a misconception about Gen Z: that they want to do everything on their own.
In truth, they don’t reject guidance, they just want it to come from a place of trust and equality.
They expect the people around them to challenge them, not to dictate to them.
They want someone to walk beside them, not ahead of them.
And that makes the traditional mentoring model tricky. Because the moment mentoring becomes hierarchical or overly structured, we lose the freedom and authenticity that this generation values most.
Mentorship isn’t something you can organise. It’s something you feel.
It’s that click you have with someone you want to learn from.
Someone you look up to, not because they have all the answers, but because they embody something that resonates with who you want to become.
That feeling can’t be planned.
There’s no framework or step-by-step process for it.
That connection simply happens.
It’s like falling in love: unpredictable, intuitive, emotional.
(And no, that doesn’t mean you should fall in love with your mentor 😄).
Which is why it feels so strange when organisations start to orchestrate mentoring with programmes, matching systems and evaluation metrics. That’s all very rational, while mentorship itself is deeply emotional.
You can’t tick off a real connection on a checklist.
We live in a time when guidance and talent development have become more important than ever.
But the more organisations try to formalise the process, the more they risk draining it of its humanity.
We end up creating an army of mentors, but lose the essence of mentorship.
It becomes manageable, but no longer meaningful.
Maybe we need to turn the model upside down.
Let young people choose who inspires them.
Let them decide who they want to learn from, rather than being assigned a mentor by default.
Instead of formal profiles, create an open pool of people within and beyond the organisation who are simply available to share their experience. No script, no label, no hierarchy.
Because inspiration doesn’t always come from inside your own team or sector.
Sometimes it comes from someone who lives in a completely different world, someone who sees things from another angle.
And that’s exactly where the learning happens: beyond your comfort zone.
Then let it only include people who are genuinely socially engaged, humble enough not to claim “I’ll show you how it’s done”, but willing to listen, share and reflect together.
Because the moment it becomes hierarchical again - the moment it sounds like “I’ll teach you” - you lose not only the younger generation but also all your (hidden) high potentials.
And if you lose both, maybe it’s time to rethink why you wanted a mentoring programme in the first place.
True mentors are never self-declared.
They are recognised, not appointed.
Not by themselves, but by those who are inspired by them.
Mentorship isn’t a job title.
It’s a sense of trust, connection and growth.
And that’s what makes it so powerful, especially for Gen Z, who crave guidance, but only when it’s rooted in authenticity and choice.
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Discover how to connect with Gen Z in a way that feels natural - balancing their need for guidance with their desire for autonomy and influence - during our Gen Z training on 24 February and 4 March at the Marriott Hotel in Ghent, together with Katherina Swings.
Can’t wait?
You’ll also find this topic in The Talent Trap. How to Spot & Sculpt Hidden Potential (Academia Press – Lannoo), the book I co-authored with Kristof Braekeleire on pages 144 and 204 (where we explore mentorship, coaching and the crucial role of autonomy).
A chapter every aspiring mentor should read.
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